So Tired
I'm so tired today. So sleepy. I need an extra day to recover from my weekend! My weekends need weekends now as well! LOL!
Short recap:
1) Went to Peligro on Saturday night. Saw the Dawn play, but it was an acoustic set. Not bad, though, that singer can really hit the high notes! I missed it when they played U2's "Bad," which is prolly my favorite U2 song EVAR. Amazing what you can do with two chords. The best part, was when they said "enough of this acoustic shit," and powered up the amps! :) "She Sells Sanctuary" was AWESOME!!
2) Hung out on the second floor for a bit after the Dawn ended, just for a little house music. I dunno, I guess a part of me still needs dance music, you know? My night is not complete without it! Kinda strange how I always listen to both organic and electronic music everyday. Drums, bass and guitar when I'm at home, and doof doof doof music when I'm on the train...hehe.
3) Ate at North Park with Sam after, and then stopped by what used to be 78 Orange. And guess what? I think it's turned into a gay bar...after about 5 minutes inside, I noticed that there were like 3 or 4 girls that I could see, and there were way too many guys hugging each other and stuff. Now, I'm not that much of a homophobe, but it was way creepy. Hightailed it out of there FAST! Which sucks, cuz the music was pretty good. What also sucks, is that I have a lot of memories from that place! Too bad things change so fast.
4) I caught simbang gabi at 5 am with my mom! After getting home at 4:30...hehe. I am such a good boy!
5) Had dinner at Paseo Uno with "the girls" as planned on Sunday night. It was okay, not as fun as the first dinner we had, but at least the food was better! I had beef, and lots of it! Lots of sushi, too! Janice was the champion that night...hehe.
6) I've decided not to crush on the person I was deciding whether or not to crush on. Are crushes like love? Whereby you can decide whether or not you love someone? Or is it if you don't automatically crush on someone, and you have to think about it pa, it's not really a "real" crush? It's prolly because I still have to decide whether or not I'm crushing that I'm really not crushing. Also, there was this subtle "sign" that I felt that it was a no-go. No big.
7) Hazel texts on Monday morning, saying she wanted to meet up before work. Which is a bit weird, since I haven't seen her for more than 3 months! I ask her why, and she says "cuz I just miss talking to you." I said I couldn't, because I couldn't get up early enough, and didn't want to be a zombie at work, plus Monday is my busiest day. We made plans to meet up around midnight, but then that fell through as well because her bf had arrived in the office, and she couldn't sneak out anymore. She doesn't want her bf to know that she's seeing me. She's seeing me on the sly. Plus, she says she's lonely! I asked her how she could be lonely, if she had a bf beside her, and she was supposed to explain why to me when we met up, but obviously I didn't get that explanation, so now I'm still wondering why. I know they have their problems, but I still don't know what role she wants me to play in her life. Kensai would say she just wants me around, wants me to not get over her just so that she has me as a safety net, and maybe he's right. I also get the feeling she wants to "cheat" on her bf with me, but as to what the reasons are for all her recent actions are, I don't know. Would I see her if all she wanted from me was to cheat? Of course, my rational mind wants to say "hell no" but there is also a part of me that says "I don't know, really. Maybe." Maybe that teensy-weensy part of me is still not over her, after all. I told her it was no big deal that we didn't get to meet up, but I'm kinda hating myself for getting excited to see her again, and for maybe expecting "something" to happen. Ah hell, whatevs.
I can't control that girl, never could. So there's no point in trying now. It just sucks that she's feeling lonely. I don't like that. Even if she hurt me really bad and broke my heart, I still want her to be happy, and I am so overprotective of her.
I know, I know, I'm an idiot.
Short recap:
1) Went to Peligro on Saturday night. Saw the Dawn play, but it was an acoustic set. Not bad, though, that singer can really hit the high notes! I missed it when they played U2's "Bad," which is prolly my favorite U2 song EVAR. Amazing what you can do with two chords. The best part, was when they said "enough of this acoustic shit," and powered up the amps! :) "She Sells Sanctuary" was AWESOME!!
2) Hung out on the second floor for a bit after the Dawn ended, just for a little house music. I dunno, I guess a part of me still needs dance music, you know? My night is not complete without it! Kinda strange how I always listen to both organic and electronic music everyday. Drums, bass and guitar when I'm at home, and doof doof doof music when I'm on the train...hehe.
3) Ate at North Park with Sam after, and then stopped by what used to be 78 Orange. And guess what? I think it's turned into a gay bar...after about 5 minutes inside, I noticed that there were like 3 or 4 girls that I could see, and there were way too many guys hugging each other and stuff. Now, I'm not that much of a homophobe, but it was way creepy. Hightailed it out of there FAST! Which sucks, cuz the music was pretty good. What also sucks, is that I have a lot of memories from that place! Too bad things change so fast.
4) I caught simbang gabi at 5 am with my mom! After getting home at 4:30...hehe. I am such a good boy!
5) Had dinner at Paseo Uno with "the girls" as planned on Sunday night. It was okay, not as fun as the first dinner we had, but at least the food was better! I had beef, and lots of it! Lots of sushi, too! Janice was the champion that night...hehe.
6) I've decided not to crush on the person I was deciding whether or not to crush on. Are crushes like love? Whereby you can decide whether or not you love someone? Or is it if you don't automatically crush on someone, and you have to think about it pa, it's not really a "real" crush? It's prolly because I still have to decide whether or not I'm crushing that I'm really not crushing. Also, there was this subtle "sign" that I felt that it was a no-go. No big.
7) Hazel texts on Monday morning, saying she wanted to meet up before work. Which is a bit weird, since I haven't seen her for more than 3 months! I ask her why, and she says "cuz I just miss talking to you." I said I couldn't, because I couldn't get up early enough, and didn't want to be a zombie at work, plus Monday is my busiest day. We made plans to meet up around midnight, but then that fell through as well because her bf had arrived in the office, and she couldn't sneak out anymore. She doesn't want her bf to know that she's seeing me. She's seeing me on the sly. Plus, she says she's lonely! I asked her how she could be lonely, if she had a bf beside her, and she was supposed to explain why to me when we met up, but obviously I didn't get that explanation, so now I'm still wondering why. I know they have their problems, but I still don't know what role she wants me to play in her life. Kensai would say she just wants me around, wants me to not get over her just so that she has me as a safety net, and maybe he's right. I also get the feeling she wants to "cheat" on her bf with me, but as to what the reasons are for all her recent actions are, I don't know. Would I see her if all she wanted from me was to cheat? Of course, my rational mind wants to say "hell no" but there is also a part of me that says "I don't know, really. Maybe." Maybe that teensy-weensy part of me is still not over her, after all. I told her it was no big deal that we didn't get to meet up, but I'm kinda hating myself for getting excited to see her again, and for maybe expecting "something" to happen. Ah hell, whatevs.
I can't control that girl, never could. So there's no point in trying now. It just sucks that she's feeling lonely. I don't like that. Even if she hurt me really bad and broke my heart, I still want her to be happy, and I am so overprotective of her.
I know, I know, I'm an idiot.
posted by csfilsm at 2:52 AM
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