Circle of Life
First things first: yep, I did meet up with Hazel on Wednesday morning. A bit strange, but it was all good. In the beginning all I could do was stare at her because I could not get over how DIFFERENT she looked. Then again, that's prolly because it's been so long since I'd seen her in person, I don't remember how she looks like anymore. She didn't look fugly, just...tired. Weathered, I guess. Then again, it WAS the end of the day so...
She ate while I had a couple of beers...hehe. And we talked a little bit...basically a continuation of all our phone calls. She got the PS1, I got her phone. Fair deal, I guess.
Anyway, what struck me the most was how just a few months apart can totally change things. When I fell in love with her, she was this sporty type of chick, but her image is totally different now...she looks like a supervisor now, which is apt, I guess, since that's her job. And there WAS that feeling that we were in totally different worlds now, different freaking universes. I couldn't believe that 3 months before, we were each other's worlds.
But life goes on, whether we like it or not. My relationship with her will continue to change. I don't know if we will become closer, stay the same, or drift apart, but I do know that whatever happens, I have to accept it and take it as it comes. I feel a bit foolish for being so nervous now, because really, there was nothing to be nervous about. No feelings came rushing back, neither of us broke down, and we didn't get into a big fight. It was...pleasant. And I guess I do have a sense of closure now, finally knowing and accepting the fact that we can never again have what we used to...but it's OKAY. Because what we did have was special, and beautiful, and precious, and pure, and it has changed our lives forever, and hopefully, for the better.
Hey, Hazel, BFF, k? :)
*****************
In other developments, it's the freaking weekend again, and guess what, I'm back in the grind. LOL.
Peligro. Tomorrow Night. Good Bands (I hope). The chill-out room. Intoxication. And of course, and endless sea of possibilities.
I know I will be able to survive the weekend. But will I be able to survive Monday? LOL.
******************
I never thought I'd be able to survive in a world without Hazel. (Well, technically, she still IS in my world, but you know what I mean, I hope) But I am surviving. And what's more, I'm happy. That's more than enough to be thankful for.
Have a good one, all! :)
She ate while I had a couple of beers...hehe. And we talked a little bit...basically a continuation of all our phone calls. She got the PS1, I got her phone. Fair deal, I guess.
Anyway, what struck me the most was how just a few months apart can totally change things. When I fell in love with her, she was this sporty type of chick, but her image is totally different now...she looks like a supervisor now, which is apt, I guess, since that's her job. And there WAS that feeling that we were in totally different worlds now, different freaking universes. I couldn't believe that 3 months before, we were each other's worlds.
But life goes on, whether we like it or not. My relationship with her will continue to change. I don't know if we will become closer, stay the same, or drift apart, but I do know that whatever happens, I have to accept it and take it as it comes. I feel a bit foolish for being so nervous now, because really, there was nothing to be nervous about. No feelings came rushing back, neither of us broke down, and we didn't get into a big fight. It was...pleasant. And I guess I do have a sense of closure now, finally knowing and accepting the fact that we can never again have what we used to...but it's OKAY. Because what we did have was special, and beautiful, and precious, and pure, and it has changed our lives forever, and hopefully, for the better.
Hey, Hazel, BFF, k? :)
*****************
In other developments, it's the freaking weekend again, and guess what, I'm back in the grind. LOL.
Peligro. Tomorrow Night. Good Bands (I hope). The chill-out room. Intoxication. And of course, and endless sea of possibilities.
I know I will be able to survive the weekend. But will I be able to survive Monday? LOL.
******************
I never thought I'd be able to survive in a world without Hazel. (Well, technically, she still IS in my world, but you know what I mean, I hope) But I am surviving. And what's more, I'm happy. That's more than enough to be thankful for.
Have a good one, all! :)
posted by csfilsm at 5:45 AM
2 Comments:
Hey, congrats for finally and actually moving on.^_^ Y'know what, i'm not saying i'm a love guru or anything coz i'm not but i think i've mastered the art of letting go. or maybe i've developed a terrible case of Narcissism.^_^ but really, they say letting go and moving on is easier said than done but it IS easier than we think. it's all about mind-setting. ironically, i'm now consoling and counseling friends who thought i was a hopeless case in letting go before. oh well, bilog ang mundo.^_^
Well, even though I may feel like I've moved on, there ARE still days when you can't help but reminisce, you know? And start playing the "what if" game. But you're right, moving on MUST be a conscious decision. I guess when you get to a point where you feel like you don't have a choice, you adapt.
Good on you for counseling your friends, I don't know what I would do if mine weren't there for me when I needed them the most. :)
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